Recipe for a Godly Home (1)

As today is Father's Day it would be appropriate for us to meditate on what the Bible says about the home. God wants us to build godly homes for Him because our family life is important to Him, as seen in the way that He dealt with families in the Bible.

When God called Abraham to go to the Land of Promise , he included the promise that, "in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed." (Genesis 12:3) When the gospel of Christ was preached at Philippi it brought not only individuals to salvation but families as well (Acts 16:15 ,33). And when God gave instructions to His people on how they should live, He included instructions on their family life. All these show that God has a claim upon our home. He wants us to make our home a godly home. But what are the ingredients that must be used to build a godly home?

Ingredient No.1: Christ Must Be the Head of the Home

The first and most important ingredient is found in Colossians 3:16, 17 – "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."
Although this passage indicates Christ's pre-eminence within the church, it also applies to the home. Each Christian family is a subunit of the family of God which is the church. The Lord is therefore the most important member of the home. Even though He may not be visible, He must be given the greatest honour and respect by all at home. In some Christian homes, you may find a plaque on the wall that reads, "Christ is the Head of this House, the Unseen Guest at every meal, and the Silent Listener to every conversation." And He must be loved more than anyone else, even more than one's spouse, children or parents.

It is this common love that all family members have for God that binds them together. It is the mainstay or backbone of the family. And when all members of the family are equally and fully committed to the Lord, then that love becomes the strongest force that can bind the family and keep it from disintegrating despite any trial or crisis.

But such a home will not come about without effort. The knowledge of God and love for God must be cultivated in every member of the home. A godly home cannot be built and maintained without this. This is why we need to do what v.16 says: " Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom…" The Word of God must be read, taught and studied not only in church, but even at home. And this is not only to be done individually, when each family member has his or her own quiet time with God, but also together as a family.

Dear Reader, please make time to bring the teaching of God's Word right into your own home. How wonderful it is to have a home where family members take delight in opening the Scriptures together and talking about the things of God during family devotions!

Ingredient No.2: The Wife Is to Submit to Her Husband

This is found in Colossians 3:18 – "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Wifely submission is not a very popular concept in the world today. Some would even consider the idea offensive, old fashioned and even unjust.

But every Christian wife is commanded in the scriptures to submit to her husband. This submission was not the outcome of a male-dominated society that existed in Bible times. Neither was it a temporary cultural phenomenon. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reveals that it is based on an eternal principle – "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." Here the man's headship is compared with two other headships: the headship of Christ over man, and the headship of the Father over the Son. Just as these two headships never change, the headship of the man in the family applies to marriage in every age – ancient as well as modern.

The husband's headship does not imply that wives are inferior. In 1 Corinthians 11:3 it is compared with the headship of the Father over the Son. We know that the distinction of the roles of the three Persons within the Godhead does not in any way diminish the deity or importance of any one of them. Therefore when wives submit to the headship of their husbands, this submission does not diminish their personal standing and importance. Before God, husbands and wives stand on the same footing, as they are "heirs together of the grace of life." (1 Peter 3:7)

Does the wife's submission require her to give up all her initiative and creativity? Not at all. In fact wives can be very creative and have much initiative within their submissive role, like the ‘virtuous woman' in Proverbs 31:10~31. Wives, submit lovingly and willingly to your husband, in the same way that you would submit to the Lord Jesus Christ. Always recognize the fact that God has given him the role of leadership in the home and you should never attempt to usurp this role from him.

And you who are husbands must not tempt her to usurp your role by neglecting your leadership role, leaving a leadership vacuum in your home. In many homes abdicating husbands are the cause of the disruption of the God-given order of leadership. And Christian husbands should always exercise their leadership role not in a forceful or tyrannical manner, but with love.

Ingredient No.3: The Husband Is to Love His Wife

This ingredient is mentioned in Colossians 3:19 – "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Most husbands will gladly say, "I will" to this requirement on their wedding day especially when they behold their beautiful bride smiling demurely at them. But when the wedding is over and the reality of living together sets in, all the faults and weaknesses in each person's character will become apparent. Then feelings of love may give way to feelings of bitterness. It is against this that the Word of God here says to husbands, " love your wives, and be not bitter against them."

To overcome this, every husband ought to think of his wife as a part of himself. When God created Eve and brought her to Adam, the first thing that he said was, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. " With this mindset a husband will take very good care of his wife and be sensitive to her many needs – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it." (Ephesians 5:29)

(to be continue....)

Adapted from Life BPC 13 May 2007.
Written by Rev. Charles Seet.